月

27.

Sat, 03 Aug 2024 03:01:48 +0000

Twenty-seven. Still alive. Still trying to survive. Back when I was in my darkest moment of life, I decided to leave the world in this number. But a lot has happened since then and changed everything in me. And now, I'm still here. Looking back, I used to just wait for my parents to give me birthday money so I can at least feel special. Now, I can do it for myself. I still have a long way to get to the life I want but I have come a long way already. I'm kind of glad I wasn't able to end it here. I'm glad there are still people willing to stay with me to witness my success. To witness my future. I am thankful. Normally, birthdays make me sad. It still made me feel sad especially this year where I was supposed to end everything, and yet, I feel hopeful instead. I will get past this. I will get there. Life is not a race. I don't need anyone else's approval on how I should live my second life.

Manifesting.

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 13:46:06 +0000

My mind is a mess right now with all the things happening around me. But I am positive I can survive this. I will manage... just like the past years. I can survive this. I am manifesting good things this year. I know good things will come my way. I believe all this confusion and pain and sadness will be replaced with clarity and goodness and abundance. It will come to me so I'm going to push forward in a positive mindset even if it's hard.

Angels.

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 07:03:10 +0000

I still haven't moved on. I don't even know when will I. It still hurts me to view your pictures in my gallery. It will probably take me another month or so before I could do it without my world sinking. You all are still babies and yet you left us already. It hurts so much. I miss you all the time. Sometimes, I even imagine the future if you all were still here. I wish I could have given you all one last hug. Run free, angels. I hope you all are well wherever you are. I love each one of you.

2023.

Sat, 06 Jan 2024 08:04:54 +0000

Just like the past years, 2023 has been another rollercoaster ride for me. Not everyday was perfect. Not everyday I was smiling. But it's alright because I never felt alone. There were people who care about me and I am very grateful with these people – my work besties and my boyfriend. They made me feel that I belong. They made me feel that I am important. They made me feel that it's alright to take it slow. They made me feel that I can do it. I guess there's no other way but continue to 2024? I still have a long way to go and it's okay. I've been really hard with myself for not achieving the same things my peers have achieved that I almost failed to realize I did a lot of things this year as well. I have my own life. My win is a win. It doesn't matter if it's not for others. So yeah, let's go 2024! Let's do this!

Slowly.

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 08:07:29 +0000

These days, it feels like I'm slowly getting back to my routine. Today, I had the energy to organize my book notes and it just felt so satisfying. This is making me feel better of course because after being in a major slump + burnout + having a lot of mental breakdown, this just means I'm ready to fight again. Slowly but surely. I don't know why I had let those negative thoughts eat me but I promise I'm going back now. Back to that calmness. That calmness where I don't feel pressured. That calmness where I don't compare myself with others. That calmness where I don't let other people affect me. That calmness where I stay focused only on my goals. Back to that calmness, slowly.

26.

Sun, 16 Jul 2023 09:47:57 +0000

Triggered.

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 01:44:03 +0000